


Sacrifice

by teamaequitas



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Bae x Hook, Hook x Bae, Hookfire - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 16:18:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamaequitas/pseuds/teamaequitas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cursed!Storybrooke Hookfire AU where Killian is a priest, Father Nicholas, and Bae is a new member of the church, Benjamin Gold. Inspired by a prompt on Tumblr for Summer of Hookfire. Underage M/M Jail Baet. If you're not into it, don't read it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> Basically my one-way pervert's express train to Hell. Please take a seat and join me. We have refreshing beverages and underage gay priest porn fics. YAY.  
> The prompt was the song "Sacrifice" from an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer ("The Gift"), so that was listened to quite a bit while writing this.  
> I also find that "Stop Me" by Natalia Kills fits well with this story and was also listened to a lot while writing this. Check both songs out.  
> There will be more of this fic someday, I promise. I want to make it a series. But I'm about to move out of the country so this is all we get for now. Thank you for your patience. -kisses your cheek-

That evening, Father Nicholas Jones dreamt of Benjamin Gold again. The dream started off innocently enough, as they always did.

_Ben comes in for confession, late at night as usual, when only Father Jones is there, and speaks of his impure thoughts and urges. Nicholas tries to explain to him that these feelings are only natural for a boy his age and that he only needs to have control over his mind and body to do God’s will. Right as Nicholas is about to tell him how many Hail Mary’s to do, Ben blurts it out._

_“The thoughts are about you, Father!”_

_“What?” Nicholas replies, both shocked and elated that Ben feels the same way._

_“The impure thoughts and urges, Father…they’re of you…for you.” Nicholas is silent as his head fights a battle between what he knows is right and what he wants. He doesn’t even notice that Ben has left his side of the booth until the Father’s door is opened and Ben enters the tiny space, closing the door behind him. Without warning, the boy straddles his lap and crushes their lips together in hot, searing passion. “Please,” Ben murmurs. “Please, Father. Take me.”_

_Nicholas protests at first, half-heartedly attempting to remove Ben’s lips from his own, his heart racing so fast he can barely breathe. “Ben, no. This is weakness. We are giving into the sin Satan wants,” Nicholas tries. “We are weak…” These are the last words spoken before Nicholas gives in and returns the teenager’s kisses. Their hands are everywhere. The booth becomes hot as they desperately grasp at the other’s clothes until they’re all gone, flesh on flesh, with only a rosary between them. He enters Ben and there is no sound but pants and soft cries of the other’s name. Right before Nicholas reaches his peak, he awakens, calling out the boy’s name._

“ _Benjamin!_ ” the Father shouted as he jolted up in bed. He looked about frantically, his breathing heavy and strained. When he finally realized where he was and that he was only dreaming, he attempted to slow his breathing. That was when he noticed his raging erection. “ _No!_ ” he exclaimed, trying to push it down and hide from his shame before giving up and running to his bathroom. He turned the water completely on cold and started a shower, quickly stripping his night garbs before getting in, gasping loudly as the freezing water hit his hot skin.

It didn’t take long for him to become flaccid again, but even as he stood in the icy water of the shower, he still could not escape his most impure thoughts. Thoughts of young Benjamin in the shower with him, the water cascading down his body as Nicholas stroked his cock, rock hard just like a boy his age should be. “ _No!_ ” Nicholas shouted again, falling to his knees as the cold water beat around him.

“God, _please!_ ” he  begged aloud, tears beginning to fall from his eyes. “Please stop this! Why do You torture me so?” the Father cried, clasping his hands together in desperate prayer. “Why do You plague me with such sinful thoughts and dreams? What is Your will?! Is this some sort of a test? Because, Lord, I fear I will not pass it!” The priest openly wept now, unfeeling of the icy water surrounding him. “Father, help me! If I solely lusted for the boy, I would know it is only the Devil toying with me,” he cried, pausing to take a breath as he finally admitted something to himself he’d been denying for weeks now. “But I _love_ him, Lord! Ben! I love him so, and my love in turn makes me lust for him! He is only a boy, so young, he does not know! But I am a weak man, Lord. I am weak! Please, help me. Tell me, what is Thy will?! Help me, or stop this, I beg of Thee!” Nicholas continued to cry for a long while, sobbing helpless prayers into his hands until he was so cold and numb he could barely whisper. Finally, he turned off the shower and stumbled out of the tub, shakily reaching for a towel.

~

Two restless nights passed since Benjamin’s last visit to the cathedral. Nicholas could not deny that he missed the boy, but he also thought it might be God answering his prayers. By not having the boy come to the church, perhaps it would stop his sinful thoughts and dreams in time. Though, much to his despair, the dreams continued and only became more vivid. Nicholas had not had a restful night of sleep in days.

In an attempt to keep the dreams away, the Father stayed up later and later each night, only sleeping when he could no longer move from exhaustion. On this particular Friday night, he stayed up, polishing the statues of the Virgin Mary and crucifixes that decorated the grand church. He was so exhausted that he barely heard the cathedral doors open. It wasn’t until he heard the echoes of footsteps coming down the pews that he noticed someone had entered. His heart prayed it was Ben, but his head prayed it was only a drunken Leroy on Friday night, come to confess his unholy feelings for Sister Astrid again.

“Father?” Nicholas turned to face who he knew would be there and tried to suppress his smile, internally cursing himself for being so happy.

“Good evening, Benjamin,” the father stated, taking a few steps towards him. “What brings you here so late?”

“Well, I haven’t been by in a few days,” Ben admitted, as if Nicholas hadn’t noticed. “It’s been…tough. At school, and at home. I was hoping I could confess and then we could pray? Maybe do a rosary together? Just to help me clear my head.” Ben looked up to the priest with his big brown eyes and Nicholas was sold. He knew he would never be able to deny this boy anything he wanted.

“Yes, of course,” Father Jones stated, placing a reassuring hand on Ben’s shoulder. Ben glanced at the older man’s hand with a look Nicholas didn’t recognize before shaking his head and giving the priest a small smile. Nicholas removed his hand and the two walked to the confession booth, taking their appropriate sides.

“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,” Jones started, making the Sign of the Cross.

“Amen,” Ben stated and began. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last Confession.”  

“And what are your sins?”

“I…I have dishonored my dad. I try to follow the fifth commandment and respect him, but it is so difficult. How can I honor a man who has none of his own? He infuriates me, Father, and so I lash out. I break his rules and speak to him only if necessary. But he talks down to me and yells…I don’t know what to do,” Ben sighed heavily.

Father Nicholas felt his heart break at the boy’s confession. Benjamin deserved so much better. His father was the most feared man in town and with good reason, yet this poor, sweet young boy had to be subject to that. Nicholas breathed deeply, trying to decide the best conscionable advice to give the teenager.

“It is natural for children to want to rebel against their parents, Benjamin. But one must remember that, though you may have your differences, your father aided in giving you life. He shelters you and cares for you, and so for this you must at least give him respect. It is in Exodus 20:12 that the Bible tells us ‘Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you’,” the priest concluded, hoping that was advice enough for the boy. He heard Ben let out a heavy sigh.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “You’re right…I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past.”

“For your penance, say an Act of Contrition and after we shall pray the rosary together.” Nicholas bowed his head as Benjamin prayed, awaiting him to finish so that he could recite the Prayer of Absolution.

“Amen,” Ben said, lifting his head when the Prayer of Absolution finished.

“The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace.”

“Thanks be to God,” Ben stated and left the confession booth. Nicholas exited as well, following Ben to the first pew of their church so that they may pray. The Father was well aware that this was not traditionally done, yet he could not stop himself. Not only did he hope he was helping Benjamin in some way, but he also could not deny that he enjoyed spending time with him alone. He took a seat next to the young man with a smile as Ben pulled his rosary out of his t-shirt and the two began to pray together in unison, their heads bowed and bodies facing each other closely. Nicholas had to admit it was nice; the two of them alone in the cathedral, reciting prayers together as their voices echoed softly off the walls. It was intimate in a way and it made him feel closer to Ben. He knew he shouldn’t _want_ to be closer to the boy, but he did and this was the best way he could.

“Father?” Ben asked quietly when they finished, lifting his head.

“Yes, my son?” Nicholas replied, meeting Ben’s swimming brown eyes with his blue ones.

“I think I’m ready to be baptized,” the boy stated, the side of his mouth curling into a small smile. The Father felt himself grin widely, his eyes shining with the thought of Ben being reborn in the name of the Lord after just a few months of joining the church.

“That’s wonderful, Benjamin!” the priest smiled. “We can start planning tonight! Set a date, decide who you want with you, who will be invite--.”

“I’d like to do it tonight, Father,” Ben interrupted, unconsciously darting his hand out to rest on the older man’s knee to halt his stream of words. Nicholas stopped suddenly, staring at the boy’s warm hand on his knee before looking over to Benjamin cautiously.

“I’m sorry?”

“I’d like to be baptized tonight, Father. If we can, I mean,” the young man explained with a shrug. “Just you and me, that’s all I need, really. You’ve been the most influential person in my journey and you know my dad won’t be interested…I think it’d be nice if it was just us…,” Ben trailed off, gazing at his hand still resting on the priest’s leg. He gently rubbed his thumb over the man’s knee, unthinking of the action until he realized what he was doing and jerked his hand away a bit suddenly. “A-And the Lord of course,” Ben quickly added, his eyes darting to the large crucifix hanging at the front of the cathedral before meeting Nicholas’ again.

Father Nicholas had to take a moment to gather his thoughts, hating himself for how much he enjoyed the warmth that spread through him when Ben’s hand touched his leg. He attempted to speak but it came out hoarse and he had to clear his throat before trying again, looking to the young man. “Y-Yes, of course. We can do it tonight if you so wish, my son.”

“Thank you, Father,” the boy beamed brightly as they stood. Nicholas went to grab their wading clothes, handing a small set to Benjamin to change into, the priest grabbing some himself and changing in a small bathroom so Ben could have his privacy.

They met at the modestly sized baptismal pool that was usually hidden behind curtains during church sessions. The curtains were closed now too since there was no need for them to be open, as no one else was witnessing the baptism. The two waded into the warm holy water and Nicholas positioned himself at Ben’s side and smiled down at him when the boy looked up at him with an anxious smile.

“Ready?” the Father asked, Ben shaking his head eagerly in response and crossed his arms over his chest. “Benjamin Gold, I baptize you in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen,” Nicholas stated as he made the Sign of the Cross over Ben’s body and slowly immersed him into the water.

Nicholas found himself staring at the boy as he emerged from the holy water, reborn, and it was as if everything was happening very slowly. Water washed over Ben’s face as he came up out of the water and took his first breath of his new life with the Lord. His hair hung in ringlets as the holy water dripped from them and he was beautiful in every way; the Father was breathless at the sight.

As Ben straightened, he found himself very close to the priest, nearly chest to chest, staring up at him with new eyes. Ever slowly, Ben reached his hand up to rest it on the older man’s chest, his fingers idly playing with his clerical collar as he looked up to meet Nicholas’ eyes from under his lashes. The Father felt his breath hitch in his throat as a strange sensation washed over him. His heart pounded as he looked down into Ben’s eyes and he had the overwhelming urge to touch him…to do more than just touch him. Nicholas lifted his hand to brush a dripping wet strand of hair from Ben’s face and cupped his cheek gently. The boy let out the softest of sighs, leaning into the Father’s touch as he lifted his chin towards him, unconsciously pouting his lips.

Nicholas stared at the boy’s lips a long moment, even daring to run his thumb over them once before looking back into Ben’s eyes, and all at once he was lost.

“God, help me,” Father Nicholas murmured before crushing the boy’s lips to his. Much to his surprise, Ben moaned and wrapped both arms around the priest’s neck. Nicholas wrapped an arm around the boy’s back, pulling him closer, uncaring of the fact that he was completely soaked. His other hand cupped the back of Ben’s neck, his fingers tangling themselves in his hair as the two continued moving their lips in a heated passion. For a moment they were both utterly and completely lost in each other and they had no other thoughts save for trying to get closer to one another. Neither of them were very experienced in the art of kissing, but they were quick to learn. Ben was the first to open his mouth, a groan escaping from both of them when Nicholas instinctively slipped his tongue into the young man’s mouth.

Their tongues battled for dominance as their movements became more frantic, both of them grabbing at each other wherever they could and panting heavily. It was when Father Nicholas felt something hard prod at his thigh that he came to his senses. His eyes flew open and he reluctantly pushed the boy away. Ben shook his head furiously. “ _No_ ,” he whined, attempting to connect his mouth with the priest’s again, only to be pushed away.

“Ben, we…we have to stop…,” the Father breathed, his breaths labored as he tried to keep the teenager at bay. “This…this isn’t _right_ ,” he tried to reason, more with himself than anything. What had he been thinking?! How foolish to let his emotions get away from him like that. He had to stop it, then and there.

“No, please. It is, please…,” the boy begged, trying to latch himself back onto Nicholas, craving more contact.

“Ben, _no_. We can’t continue this. We have to stop and pretend it never happened,” he explained, finally gathering himself enough to speak coherently. “It’s…it’s _wrong,_ my son. This is not what God would want; this is _sin!_ ”

“ _How?!_ How can this be sin? How can this be wrong?!” Ben exclaimed, startling the older man with the intensity of his words. “If this is not God’s plan, why did he wait for me to be reborn in his name for this to happen? We stand here, in holy water, free from sin and yet we kiss…we _love_. If this is not the most pure, the most _right_ thing…I don’t know what is.”

Perhaps if Nicholas had been thinking clearly he wouldn’t have bought that. But he wasn’t and the boy was making all the sense in the world. He groaned, letting go of his last bit of conscience and pulled Ben back into his arms, kissing him fiercely. As the two desperately grasped at each other, Nicholas found himself stumbling, losing his footing on the slippery bottom of the pool. The pair fell, splashing into the water and successfully soaking them both. But they did not part, still desperately pulling the other ever closer as they came up out of the water, the pool splashing about wildly.

Neither of them were experienced with this kind of thing, only following their instincts. Ben knew the basics of love making from school and other outside sources, but he was by no means and expert, having never done more than kissing. And Nicholas had been celibate for years now, only having been with a couple of women before his priesthood. Ben let his hand slide down the Father’s torso and to his pants, letting his soft hand wrap around the priest’s erection, a sense of pride washing over him when he realized the man was just as hard as he was.

If there was a point that the priest could have come to his senses and stopped this, he was past it. He groaned as Ben’s hand wrapped around his erection and bucked his hips involuntarily. He was completely lost in this boy with no hope of returning. He let his hands slide down Ben’s sides and over his bottom, gripping it and tugging him closer still. The Father broke away from the boy’s lips to kiss down his jawline and to his neck with a groan. The hand that wasn’t occupying Nicholas’ member moved to grab a fistful of his hair.

“ _Father_ ,” Ben rasped in Nicholas’ ear, earning a grunt in response. “Father,” Ben repeated. “Make love with me…,” he breathed. “ _Please_ …I want you, please.” Perhaps it was desperate plea or oddly worded, or perhaps it was his raging hormones, but at the moment, Ben didn’t care. He only knew what he wanted and needed, and that was Father Nicholas.

Nicholas growled, nipping at the boy’s soft flesh, and waded them over to the edge of the baptismal pool where there were stairs, setting Ben down on one of them. He pulled back to look into the boy’s beautiful eyes, searching them a moment. Ben stared back, and nodded at him, reaching up to cup Nicholas’ cheek. “Please,” he breathed again, pulling the priest’s lips back to his own. With a moan, Nicholas let his hands move to hook under the waistband of Ben’s baptismal scrubs and pull them down. He broke their kiss to pull them all the way off and tossed the heavy, sopping cloth aside, letting them float somewhere in the pool. Ben instantly moved to pull down the Father’s scrubs and lay back again, hooking his legs around the older man and pulling him close. Nicholas hissed at the feeling of his hardened cock merely brushing up against Ben’s heated flesh and bent down, pressing a few kisses to the boy’s lips and face. Ben wrapped his arms around the Father, pulling him closer and threading his fingers through the man’s hair. “Please,” the boy murmured against Nicholas’ lips.

Nicholas nodded helplessly, knowing he would never be able to deny this young man anything, and moved his hips so he was positioned at Ben’s entrance. The priest rested his forehead against the boy’s, kissing him softly as he slowly pushed himself inside him with a groan. Ben cried out softly, breathing his gasps into Nicholas as they became one. His eyes squeezed shut and Nicholas could feel the boy tensing and knew it wouldn’t make this any easier.

The Father moved his hand downwards grip Ben’s member in his hand and pump it softly. “ _Relax, my son_ ,” he encouraged, kissing the boy sweetly. Ben nodded his head and exhaled, releasing his tension and letting himself enjoy the feeling of the priest inside him and around him. Once he felt Ben was ready, Nicholas began moving in and out of him, his hand still gripping his young lover as it had in so many of his unholy dreams. Ben clung to the older man desperately, his hips bucking upwards to meet Nicholas’ movements.

“ _Yes_ ,” Ben whimpered as the Father’s hand tightened around his cock and the speed of his movements increased. Water sloshed around them and between them, splashing up on their faces as they panted each other’s names and other strings of incoherent gasps. Somewhere in the back of Nicholas’ mind, his conscience was screaming at him, but he couldn’t hear it, totally lost in Ben and his love for the boy.  

Within minutes the two were teetering on the edge of orgasm. Ben’s first ever, and Nicholas’ first in years. Their cries of _Father!_ and _Benjamin!_ were lost in each other and muffled by the sound of splashing water as they both shuddered into release, fireworks alighting in their cores and spreading flames throughout their bodies. Nicholas’ movements slowed until he was still, panting for breath on top of Ben as the boy stroked his hair with a lazy smile.

They laid like this for a long moment, wrapped in each other’s warm embrace as the holy water around them stilled. Nicholas pressed a gentle kiss to Ben’s neck before slowly pulling out of him and rolling to the side. He sighed as his mind caught up with him and began to churn his stomach with thoughts of how wrong this was and the consequences of their actions. He felt like swearing as he shook his head, his mind and heart at war. On one hand he was a _priest_ and everything about this relationship was wrong and twisted and made him sick. Yet on the other, he _loved_ this boy like he had never loved another and wanted nothing more than to stay with him and protect him and love him forever.

Ben was the first to break the silence, putting a hand on his older lover’s arm. “C’mon, we should dry off,” he said as he stood, uncaring that his pants still floated somewhere in the pool, and went to where the towels were stored on a rack nearby. He ripped off his soaking shirt, laying it out to dry, and wrapped one of the towels around his waist, rolling it on his side to stay put. He turned to hand a towel to Nicholas who had already fished out their discarded clothing and removed his own top and laid them out as well. Ben stared at the older man’s chest as he wrapped his towel around his waist, his stomach flexing as he breathed. The priest was surprisingly fit and Ben couldn’t help but admire him.

“I, uh…I suppose you’ll have to be heading home now?” Father Nicholas said a bit awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Not exactly,” Benjamin stated, a sly smile forming at his lips. Nicholas furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at the boy.

“What?”

Ben slowly closed the distance between him and the priest and ran a hand down the man’s chest, admiring the hair there for a moment and absently playing with the beads of his rosary before his eyes flicked up to meet Nicholas’. “My friend Wendy is covering for me tonight and I’m covering for her. My dad thinks I’m staying at her place, her parents think she’s staying at mine. That way she can go be with her boyfriend Felix, and I can be… _here_ ,” Ben explained, biting his lower lip with a smirk.

Nicholas continued to stare at the boy curiously, confusion lining his face until he had a moment of realization. “Benjamin, did you…did you _plan_ what happened tonight?” he asked, stunned. A wide smile spread on Ben’s face as he ran both his hands up the Father’s chest and locked them around his neck.

“I may have had an idea of how I wanted things to go..,” he trailed off with a wry smile.

“Benjamin, _h--?_ ” Nicholas started incredulously but was cut off by the boy’s mouth covering his. He sighed, giving in, and kissed him back in slow, passionate movements.

“You have a room here, right? In the back where you live?” Ben asked a little breathlessly when they broke, his eyes still closed and holding the Father close. Nicholas only nodded and Ben pressed another kiss to the man’s lips. “Take me there.”

Nicholas lead the boy back to his room as directed, completely unable to deny this young man anything he desired. Once there, behind closed windows and locked doors, they made love a second time. Slow and gentle, and more controlled, but with every bit as much passion as the first time. Ben savored the feeling of his back being pressed against a soft mattress this time instead of a hard stair, which he was sure he would be pleasantly sore from in the morning. Their soft moans filled the night air between them, their bodies pressed so closely together that Ben could feel the Father’s rosary beads between them pressing into his skin as they kissed and gasped and loved.

Once they were both spent, Nicholas rolled off the boy, only to have Ben quickly roll onto his side, wrapping a slender arm around the man’s torso as he rested his head on his chest. They laid there a moment, catching their breaths and holding each other close, their hair almost dry from their earlier passions. Ben idly played with crucifix of the rosary around the Father’s neck, admiring its intricate details. The Father’s rosary was much nicer than his own, but perhaps he could get a better one someday. Finally, Ben looked up, wondering if the priest was still awake. He was and seemed to be staring at the ceiling, deep in thought.

“Father?” he asked softly, almost hesitantly. Nicholas snapped out of his train of thought and looked down at Ben, meeting his big brown eyes with a small smile.

“Yes, my son?” Ben smirked, glancing down before looking back up at him, the lightest of blushes visible on him even in the dim lighting.

“I…I love you,” he stated. He was nervous to say it, but sure in his feelings. Nicholas smiled down at him, running a hand through the boy’s hair before cupping his cheek gently.

“And I love you, Benjamin,” Nicholas said honestly. “More than you will ever know.” He slowly bent down to capture his young lover’s lips in another soft kiss. They broke apart with a satisfying smack and Ben smiled dreamily, nestling down into his older lover’s chest with a sigh as his eyes slid closed.

Father Nicholas rubbed the boy’s arm gently as sleep threatened to overcome them. Their relationship was risky and dangerous, and they would have to be careful. Nicholas’ whole life could be ended if anyone were to find out about them, but that was a sacrifice he was willing to make for the boy. In the eyes of many, the Church included, their relationship would be considered sinful. But the priest couldn’t bring himself to believe that, because in that moment, as he held young Benjamin Gold in his arms with nothing but love between them, he’d never felt closer to God.  

**Author's Note:**

> Also, before anyone gives me shit about this fic, I was raised a Catholic fundamentalist and I wrote the church here as similar to mine. I realize some things may differ (like most Catholics don't do full submersion baptisms, but we do) so I was just writing what I know. Also, I'm not that religious anymore so don't try to guilt me about this thank you god bless buh-bye.


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